The ultra-popular, messenger app wechat has commandeered chunks of downtime, taking over chats from work, play and family. Here’s five more ways to waste time—one for each work day.
Day 1: Monday – WeChat Voice
Life’s strange cycle begins again, but this time it’s possible that there is no end to the work week ahead. The only escape is to sabotage my career by sending today’s work memos via WeChat Voice app. I’ve begun recording my first short message and sending it out with the audio slowed down to a voice deepening crawl. As the day progressed, cleverness of wit was matched only by the variety of voices I used. Our design team was equally enthralled by the hilarity of messages in the kitty filter as they were spooked by my rendition of the Saw catchphrase in Devil Mode. “Wanna play a game?” Fun was thwarted once when the message refused to open, and I was bested when my iPhone-using colleague showed that he could build his own faces to go along with the voice. Will this week ever end?
Day 2: Tuesday – Emotion Factory
First question: Why are the anatomically correct cartoon mascot icons shaking their anatomy at me on the home page as I tap on them? Next: Why do I look so good as animated Superman with an afro haircut? And do the makers of the Emotion Factory, sticker-making app think that my attention span is so short that I won’t even be able to waste time without wasting more time? Not sure if there is a need for the online store option, although my afro would look good with that handbag. Anyway, what was this about? Ah, making animated stickers that imposes a user’s face on dancing bodies and … ah, that’s why the icons have pee-pees.
App Store: Biao Qing Gong Chang (Chinese pinyin search)
Day 3: Wednesday – Foto Place
It’s hump day. The office is full of people congratulating themselves for climbing over the first two days. I bet they think it’s downhill from here. I’m not sure that it is. Think I will make a documentary film to capture the full scope of strange inner-thoughts that I am imagining for my colleagues as they toil away productively in their cubicles. Thankfully this won’t be too much like work because the functions are labeled in English and Chinese on Foto Place. We’ll just snap a pic. Crop and add a caption. Done; the day’s scenes are now letterboxed film screenshots and ready to be shared.
App Store: Foto Place
Day 4: Thursday – Meipai
We’ve survived the hump, and entered what is becoming known as happy day. Weekend is around the corner. Made a 10-second movie about the strange beauty of life and the blossoming hopes and dreams of a brighter future. Mostly they are first person views of my hand surprising co-workers with a slap to the back of their head as set to a Chaplin-esque filter, complete with black-and-white reel skipping and swinging piano music. It took a few minutes to figure out, but my can-do attitude won the day by clicking on Meipai icons until the task could be completed. Needed a little help to send my masterpiece to friends on WeChat.
Day 5: Friday – ChangBa
I now have proof positive that wasting time can save lives. The week is ending with little productivity and no loss of life. I feel like singing. Before heading to KTV with my colleagues, I spent the entire afternoon practicing the top hits from my favorite Backstreet Boys albums. ChangBa app, as long as you love me, I will continue to sing with my mouth very close to the mic. You don’t seem to record anything otherwise. I have to say, though, if it was not for your equalizer mode, the record deal of my daydreams may not have happened. Unfortunately, only one song was truly mastered, because I spent the entire morning fumbling through buttons!
App Stor: Chang Ba KTV (China only)